guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
