Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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