if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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