yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
