did you get engaged???
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
