I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
