You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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