I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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