Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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