I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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