She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
