i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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