kristin has been a bad kristin
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
