Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just had sex on a roof
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
