I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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