Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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