That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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