So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
