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• (312): View more from Illinois

  you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

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• (607): View more from New York

  since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  fireball beer pong. youre missing out

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  how is that even possible?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ove gloves.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  be there in ten.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.

  (305): View more from Florida

  Fellatio.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.

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