who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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