On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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