I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
