I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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