Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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