I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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