It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When did angry sex become our thing?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
