I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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