One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
