we're blogging at a bar
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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