what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
