oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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