i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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