Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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