I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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