omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
