his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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