So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
