At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
