just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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