I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
