Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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