Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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