I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
