Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
