WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
