Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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