Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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