Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
