moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
