Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
