I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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