first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
