Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
