She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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