dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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