you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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