...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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