How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
