No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We just shotgunned beers for America
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize